,

The Perfect V-Day Gift For 20-somethings

A case of Easy Mac, which will satisfy you way longer than one candlelit dinner.


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A romantic getaway to anywhere that doesn’t require wearing pants.


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A drugstore token that’s actually useful.


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Roommates who don’t have loud sex.


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€¦who will do your taxes for you.


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For your student loans to ride away with Prince Charming on a white horse.


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A romantic night by the fire with wine and HBO Go.


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A date who doesn’t mind that you’re kind of addicted to checking your smartphone.


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Someone to rub your shoulders while you focus exclusively on Flappy Bird.


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Friends who don’t disappear as soon as they get a boyfriend or girlfriend.


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Candy hearts that express sentiments you actually feel.


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A cheat code that physically prevents you from looking at your ex’s Twitter even though you unfollowed them.


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Someone to do your work for you so you actually have a split second to date.


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A personal assistant to Tinder for you.


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Getting selected for a focus group that pays you $20 for every Netflix rom-com you watch.


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A magical way to not be sad over things ending with someone who you weren’t “officially” dating.


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Someone who’s sexually aroused by your number of Twitter followers€¦


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€¦or by how much pizza you can eat€¦


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€¦or how cute you look drunk online shopping at 1 a.m€¦


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€¦or by how DAMN good you are at procrastinating for the rest of eternity.


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