There is no worse place on earth than a bar that’s beer and wine only.
In fact, you’ve canceled plans with friends who even suggest going to one.
You don’t own an ice cube tray because your freezer is filled with whiskey stones, which are from heaven.
You also don’t own “wine glasses,” per say.
You bring whiskey as a “gift” to parties in the hopes that it will be opened immediately.
The words, “We only have vodka,” have actually made you dry heave.
You’ve secretly judged people who say whiskey is “hard to drink.”
You’ve used whiskey as an incentive to do more work.
You decide where to have your birthday parties based on what kind of whiskey they serve.
Like, any negative reaction to whiskey is a total dealbreaker.
And you’re probably not going to stay friends with anyone who thinks whiskey is gross.
You’ve described someone as “old fashioned” because you think it’s a sincere compliment.
You look forward to Friday nights all week because it means you can take your pants off, pour some whiskey, and finally LIVE.
You’re perfectly content to spend a quiet evening alone: just you and your one and only.
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