No matter how clean you thought you were, you’ll unearth more dirt, mold, and dust than any one human could have possibly produced.
On the flipside, it’s a great way to finally get your place really, truly clean.
Cardboard boxes all of a sudden become as rare and valuable as diamonds.
And the world doesn’t contain nearly enough bubble wrap for your purposes.
You’ll discover that you own roughly 30 mateless socks.
Also: 57 spoons and not a knife as far as the eye can see.
AND SO MANY CHARGERS TO NOTHING.
On the plus side, you’ll discover so many rad things you’d forgotten you own, it’s basically free shopping.
“Packing” implies that your stuff should be more contained, not less, right?
If you’re moving with a partner, both of your true colors will undoubtedly emerge.
You start to construct elaborate fantasyscapes in your head, planning every detail of your impeccable new dream home.
…Only to remember that you might need to scale back your expectations a tad.
You’ll become senselessly brutal, capable of throwing out precious mementos you thought you’d pass on to your grandchildren.
But you’ll become inexplicably emotional about throwing away stuff that doesn’t matter at all.
You’ll learn who your true friends are.
You’ll also learn exactly what you’re willing to pay for peace of mind.
You’ll realize you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.
You’ll descend into a black hole of uncertainty, hopelessness, and despair from which you are positive you will never, ever reemerge.
And then all of a sudden, you’re home.
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