Get totally freaked out by the thought of giving birth.
Look like they might get sick when a baby spits up.
Act like having to change a diaper is the end of the world.
Ask parents if their newborn needs a children’s menu.
Feel really bad when they swear in front of your kid.
Invite you to go out at 11 p.m.
Say that spending time around kids is “good birth control,” then catch themselves and say, “Oh, but not your kids!”
Say they know what it’s like to be a parent because they have a dog.
Worry that they’ll never be able to love a baby as much as their dog.
Get really mad when you say how busy you are.
Complain about all the baby photos on Facebook, then post selfie after selfie.
Ask you if you’ve ever wished you didn’t have kids.
Call your kid “it.”
Act over the top amazed when your kid starts to talk.
Not understand what is and isn’t appropriate for a kid.
Complain about being invited to your kid’s parties.
Complain about NOT being invited to your kid’s parties.
Make bold proclamations about what their future kids will be like.
Give your kid candy, then say, “Wow! I think she likes me!”
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